Times New Roman
Contents
Praise
Cover Title
Copyright
Dedication
Preface
Title Page
Prologue
1. The 21-Month Plan
2. Downsizing, in More Ways Than One
3. Rear Window, Italian Style
4. Fare la Spesa
5. A Home-Cooked Meal
6. Home Improvement
7. First Impressions: Meeting the Neighbors
8. Italian Lessons
9. 9/11
10. Recipe for Italian Dressing
11. The Aristocrats
12. Volunteering
13. First in Line
14. Finding My Inner Italian
15. Bringing in the New Year and the Euro
16. Italian Television
17. Cristina's Dinner Party
18. Running in Rome's Race for the Cure®
19. Rooftop Lesson
20. Mass Chaos
21. Getting Published
22. Shopping Etiquette, Italian Style
23. When in Assisi, Don't Assume Anything
24. The Bird's the Thing
25. Drinking Olive Oil in Blue Glasses
26. Sunday Lunch with La Famiglia
27. Working: Be It Dollars, Lire or Euros, It All Goes Too Fast
28. A Custom-Made Italian Suit
29. Nothing Brings Neighbors Together Like Shared Sewer Lines
30. Arrivederci, a Presto!
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Praise for Times New Roman
“Times New Roman is a delightful, witty, and intimate account of what it’s like to have a real Italian adventure. From Miller’s descriptions of the food they eat and the tiny apartment they rent, to the challenging decisions they make along the way, readers will feel like they’re right there with them, enjoying the ride.”
Travis Neighbor Ward
Author of Living, Studying, and Working in Italy
"If a trip to Italy's not in your plans, reading Times New Roman is the next best thing. You'll taste the gelato, feel the cobblestones under your feet, and start daydreaming about quitting your job to move to Italy too!"
Laura Vanderkam
Author of I Know How She Does It, 168 Hours,
and What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast
www.lauravanderkam.com
"It is 100% delightful. Well written, vibrant details...I have to restrain myself from getting online, looking for flights to Italy...immense pleasure in a delightfully fun read."
Gretchen Cook
Editor & Publisher of Parents & Kids Magazine, Mississippi
“A delight for the senses! Martha Miller’s vivid anecdotes recounting her nearly two-year sojourn in Rome shows us it is possible to live our dreams. She manages in her deft accounts to capture the human condition in its cultural idiosyncrasy, as well as in its universality.”
Molly Mezzetti Zaldivar, PhD
Coordinator of Italian Studies
The University of Texas at San Antonio
Praise for A New Life in an Old City and Italy for the Long Term
“I just read your article…I absolutely loved it! I have to say that your words spoke to me — Ahhh… the adventure!” Michael K.
“I would love to hear more about your adventures in Italy. It is my dream to move to Italy! It was absolutely the most wonderful place I have ever been. Did you write a book…” Amy M.
“I just finished reading your article…Thank you for helping to sustain dreams. My wife and I are people who also have the dream of living in Italy. I have never emailed anyone to impose our questions on them, but I simply felt that you might be a person like us. Would you please read a little further and give us some honest feedback on our dream life in Italy.” Michael M.
“…please just know that your article really made me worry just a little bit less and for today at least, has motivated me further to get the things done that I need to get done so I can get over there too! Grazie!” Dorina
“I was very struck by your article. It seemed to sum [up] many of the feelings I have right now about living in a different country and how invigorating it is.” Lauren S.
“I read your article, and i think what u and your husband did is wonderful.” Pablo H.
“Can someone with very limited and I do mean limited Italian survive fairly well, although I’m a good traveler [I’m] not sure that I’m ready for the madness that is the Eternal City.” John M.
“I read your article on transitionsabroad.com and it was very inspiring and helpful…” Shawn N.
“Your beautiful depiction of living in Rome prompts me to write. I want to work in Rome and I dream of living in Trastevere…” Trycia
“I want to say that you and your husband were so brave to actually make such a huge decision regarding your life and job when moving to another country…” Lindsey M.
“I am planning on moving to Italy in June…I came across your article in transitions abroad and decided you may be able to offer some useful tips.” Chere W.
“I just wanted to let you know your story is quite inspiring!!” Amy G.
“I read your column online about moving to Italy, and I was extremely relieved that someone has already done what I am planning on doing.” Paul C.
“It was so refreshing to read how you went and followed your dream. It was like I was reading exactly how my boyfriend and I feel.” Shani E.
“I just stumbled on your article on living in Rome and I absolutely love it! I am seriously considering moving to Rome next year. And I was curious if you had any special pointers? Thanks very much again for writing a very encouraging and cute article!” Irene C.
“I am writing to you because I want to visit Rome soon and have similar objectives as you and your husband…There’s no trust fund here either, just a few dollars in the bank…” Lindy M.
Times New Roman
How We Quit Our Jobs, Gave Away Our Stuff
& Moved to Italy
Martha Miller
Published by NJM Press
This book is a work of nonfiction. Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.
Times New Roman. Copyright 2016 by Martha Miller. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner without written permission from the author except in the case of brief quotations included in articles or reviews. If you want to use more than a few paragraphs, that’s great — please email martha@timesnewromanbook.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-In-Publication Data
Times new roman: how we quit our jobs, gave away our stuff & moved to Italy
/ Martha Miller— 1st ed.
ISBN: 978-0-9977573-1-6
eISBN: 978-0-9977573-0-9
WC: 46,450
1. Memoir. 2. Travel. 3. Rome. 4. Italy. 5. Happiness.
Formatted in Garamond by Shawn Mihalik
Cover design by Bradford Gantt
Cover photo courtesy of Marty Bushue
Author photo by Doug Carter Images
Printed in the USA
For Nate
Times New Roman: How we quit our jobs, gave away our stuff & moved to Italy is a memoir of the nearly two years my husband and I lived in Rome, Italy, August 2001 – May 2003. The title, Times New Roman, has two meanings. First, John and I, in effect, act as new Romans by transplanting ourselves and becoming inhabitants of Rome, at least for 21 months. Second, Times New Roman is a well-known font type, which represents my realized dream of becoming a published writer while living in Rome. In some instances, names were changed to protect the privacy of friends.
Times
New Roman
Dreams come true. Without that possibility, nature would not incite us to have them.
–John Updike
Prologue
I was on vacation with my mother in Florence, Italy, in 1997 when she suggested we hop on a city bus, “…just to see where it takes us.” That fortuitous moment changed my life forever.
On the ride up a mountain north of Florence we enjoyed vistas beautiful enough to write home about. We saw postcard- worthy shots all along the route. When we reached Fiesole on the top of the mountain, we set out to explore the city. For us, exploring meant wandering through churches, window- shopping, enjoying a glass of wine al fresco, and then deciding on a spot for dinner.
During the shopping portion of our journey, we were surveying the delectable treats in a chocolate shop when we met a thirty-something couple from the United States. My mother was chatting with them when they revealed something amazing: They were not tourists—or “travelers,” as Mom and I liked to refer to ourselves—but residents of Fiesole.
My ears perked up and everything, including the warm, intoxicating smell of cocoa, faded into the background. In that moment I thought: They live here. How did they do it? What do they do for a living? Are they rich? Could I do it, too? All of these questions and more swirled in my head like the turning vats of dark chocolate in the shop. I stood there too dumbfounded to ask them.
From that moment on, something inside me changed. A seed of possibility was planted. If they could do it, maybe I can too, I thought. But it didn’t take long for that pessimistic devil to show up and make me doubt this could be my life: You can’t do this. They must have lots of money or special skills. You could never do this.
I felt unworthy. I didn’t want to move to Italy to study art or architecture or ancient civilizations or for any noble cause really. My motivation was so simple it was embarrassing. I had visited one other time and had fallen in love with Italy. I was tempted by the taste of authentic Italian fare, seduced by the sound of its Romance language, awakened by the sight of overflowing flower boxes, cheered by the sight of overhanging laundry lines and, most of all, delighted by the Old-World charm of the people I encountered.
I said to myself: Forget about the ex-pat couple and the dream. I don’t speak the language and don’t know anyone in Italy. My career doesn’t translate here either. How would I get along? Quit my job? What? Am I crazy?
I figured that this dream would have to wait until retirement. But then it didn’t.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
–Mark Twain
The 21-Month Plan
My husband and I are not trust-fund babies or self-made millionaires, but like many people, we dreamed of living abroad. In August 2001, after much discussion, research, and planning (which included John’s ceiling to baseboard flowchart of To-Dos), we boarded a plane departing from Houston, Texas, en route to Rome, Italy. Checking only the allowable two bags each — one of which contained a bicycle — we began what we referred to as the “21-Month Plan.”
This unconventional adventure was not funded by a corporate overseas assignment, an inheritance or winning lottery ticket, but in lots of little money-saving ways, such as brown-bagged lunches and bypassed caffé mochas.
When I first met my husband-to-be in 1998, I overheard him musing about quitting his job and living in a box on a beach in Mexico. I was immediately skeptical but secretly intrigued. Fast forward two years and there we were, enjoying our honeymoon in Guadalajara. No, we didn’t stay in a box; he actually sprang for a hotel suite. However, before we got married, we did discuss the “box on the beach” idea — endlessly.
The “box” was upgraded to a more stable dwelling and European countries were added to our pool of choices. We had enough money saved to bum around for a while. But then what? John was forty-two and I was thirty-seven when we started planning this adventure. We were too old to throw caution to the wind and too young to retire. We wanted to live somewhere and not feel like tourists in city after city. I wanted to know my neighbors and understand what their lives were like. We needed a plan that would not only allow us to experience another culture, but also prepare us for future earnings.
John had spent twenty-five years in television news and was ready to build on his experience and try something new. He decided to further his education and pursue a degree in international affairs. That decision was the catalyst that made us realize we could, actually should, move abroad. It would take twenty-one months for John to graduate and it was a goal that would give us long-term stability, a home base. My background was in retail sales and marketing. Learning another language would open new doors for me as well, though not in the way I had originally thought.
But can we afford to quit our jobs? I wondered. John would be going back to school full time. Neither of us spoke any other languages, which meant I wouldn’t be able to work abroad right away, if at all. We had to make sure we had enough money put aside to cover John’s tuition, our housing costs, living expenses, plus an allotted amount for emergencies. Our plan could not include traveling back to the United States unless there was an urgent need. The 21-Month Plan was going to require a significant chunk of change and, once we started, we agreed there would be no turning back.
We also agreed that our retirement savings accounts were off limits. We would have to fund this venture in other ways. We didn’t have kids and we didn’t own a home. We also didn’t have any credit-card debt and our cars were fully paid for. John had been effective at living beneath his means for years; he was a disciplined saver. Having my job eliminated not once, but twice, I had learned the value and peace of mind of a healthy cushion of savings.
John and I married in 2000. As we combined our households, our expenses decreased. Rent alone resulted in a savings of $500 per month. We challenged ourselves with a hefty goal to add to our savings. We found that saving for something as specific as living abroad made it a whole lot easier to make sacrifices, big and little. For example, Starbucks caffè mochas were one of my favorite treats. But during the year before we moved to Rome, I reminded myself as I drove past their stores on my way to work, for each caffè mocha I passed on now, I could enjoy three Italian cappuccini later.
After our honeymoon, John began researching English- language, degree-granting universities on the Internet. We evaluated the cities based on our interest in the culture, language and cost of living. The final candidates were in Madrid and Rome. We knew we would not be able to make such enormous changes in our lives without at least one visit to ease our minds about this adventure. We planned a vacation in March 2001 to visit both cities for the final winnowing. One of the universities in Rome fulfilled all of our requirements. We were even shown some apartments during our visit. By choosing one that normally houses only one student, we could trim costs. We left a housing deposit for the fall semester before we departed. I said, “This is the turning point—we are really going to do this.”
For months as we were trying to decide if we should take the risk of quitting our jobs and moving to Italy, several thoughts kept going through my mind: Two years are going to go by anyway. How are we going to feel in two years if we don’t take this chance? What about in twenty years? Will we always have nagging feelings of “What if….?”
Happily, we will never have to ask ourselves these questions. Our son, however, born after this adventure, may someday ask us what happened to his inheritance.
To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.
–Bertrand Russell
Downsizing, in More Ways Than One
Quitting your job and moving abroad has a devil-may-care sound to it. It’s impulsive, romantic and adventurous. Sure, I’d like to think those words describe us and maybe they do to some extent, but the reality is t
hat we are practical people. We have devoted an enormous amount of thought and effort into our 21-Month Plan.
One of the first moves I made was to consult my financial advisor, who is in charge of my IRA, a 401k brought over from a previous downsizing. Ken was a laid-back Southerner who chose his words carefully. I was more nervous when John and I bound into his office to get his reaction to our plan than I was when I told my friends and my parents.
I knew if Ken deemed this plan to be a poor financial decision, and downright foolish, it would have caused me to reconsider, and I didn’t want to do that. But I knew he’d be straight with me, so his reaction was crucial. At first, I was so giddy. “Guess why we’re here,” I tease. “You’re having a baby?” he asks.
“Nope.”
“You want to buy a house?”
“No,” I say. “We want to quit our jobs and move to Europe so John can finish his education and we can experience living abroad.”
Ken’s eyes widen, his mouth turns into a smile and he uncharacteristically blurts out, “Oh, thank goodness. I thought you were going to say you wanted to buy a boat!”